Song of a Life

November 16, 2001

Morning’s vapors pervade my prison
Subtle menace adorns their mystery
Coarse fabric opaque to breath, to light
Porous only to decay’s steady fragrance
I’ve sought relief within reason and logic
Yet break beneath emotion’s intrusion
Scrambling, yearning warmth – I freeze -- then burn
Bars that restrain also brand and scar
As I hurl myself forth with no sight of freedom
What led you to this place, to me
To witness my writhing with each spectre’s touch
Images of lives once lived, by me, and now you
Perhaps you were lured by my promises of Eden
Rose petals, candle wax, shrines to your heart
Or were you seduced by this song of my life
Did you absorb its tune, but then fail to see
The tortured child who composed this piece
His day of birth should have been his last
My only chance at angel’s wings
What compelled my heart to expose this passage
What compelled your heart to step inside
Entranced, you followed my song’s odd strains
And I slammed a thick door behind you
You’re welcome here – sit down, relax
A chalice of something bitter, perhaps?
Ignore the grimace that frames my visage
It was there long before you came
Too many attempts at a poignant aria
Too few attempts at a measured life
Selfishly, I sought, in you, salvation
Made you laugh, for a time
Then shattered your smile
I stole your life, your hopes, your dreams, your voice
Fashioned them to fit with my sad, twisted vision
And added new notes to my mournful song
Escape now, my love, before you cannot
Run, before my wickedness consumes you
Close your ears to my shallow composition
Ignore the tolling bells’ haunting rhythm
Leave me to greet my end of days
And put a rest to this sad, fractured song of my life