Nightmare

November 6, 2002

Night steals in -- faint shadows betray its ingress
Deepening shimmers of gray sired by black and white
A kaleidoscope of nothingness spins and twirls
The sun concedes dominion and retreats
The light, the day, the world we see is gone
Returning soon but rarely fast enough
As fear plunges talons into my vulnerable consciousness
I am prey, yet no prayer promises relief
Nurturing silence slain as my screaming begins
I am the prisoner of the night, the prisoner of I
Victimized by the collision of reason and fatigue
Red liquid is slung, like war paint, across my face
I see myself laid open, my heart uncaged, but free?
No real freedom, ever, but free to provide shelter
To restless worms whose bloodlust never sates
Stillborn, or could I still be born, dying here now
Amid cloying heat and stench of carrion
The voice of earth beckons, hungry, in a growl
Victims many, convulse, fall, expire
Churches burn, schools are razed
Can you follow the bouncing bodies
Bump, bump, bump, a compelling beat
With snare of cymbals giving voice to cries
Too many to count, and the verse haunts anyway
One two, buckle my shoe – it rhymes, how clever
Mama shut the door ‘til I was three – or four
Where purest night first made my acquaintance
And claimed me for all days and desires of time
Oh, how very many were the lessons learned
Of love, of passion and the omnipotence of hate
And of life’s many fresh and innocent prisoners
The infant girl thrashes against barbed mesh
Her eyes see nothing -- nothing but my fragile soul
Accusing me, her executioner, the rapist of dreams
Why? It hurts, Daddy, why?
Because I am I
And you are you, and this is the hand you were dealt
And you can’t fold, oh no, you must bet it all
Knowing that this house never lends the upper hand
Everything limps, unless it slithers or does not move at all
Is this damnation?
After a fashion, I suppose
But this God too is in the details, and they are hard to bear
Run? Where?
And it would find me besides
It always does, no matter how I hide
Greeting me with a jagged grin and creeping stench
Inviting me to dine, as guest of honor
I recline on the table as the knives carve flesh
Screaming as each raw slice is consumed
It’s my simple destiny, this day and every day
When light, so fleeting, departs in defeat
And the night, each night, in its rebirth, must feed