So Many Questions

God, are you real?
Have you set aside a place for me?
Did you hide your face from mine
While I danced a ballet of shame?
Did you turn away, in horror, in disgust
When I cast aside my dreams, my spirit
And ran amok in the darkness?
Was it you who distorted my mirror
So it could render no beauty?
Was this some test
A game that spanned years
To measure the depth of my torment?
Was it you who taught me
To distrust trust
And disbelieve belief?
When I fled from you
Why did you not pursue me?
And why, God, if you're there
Did you wait so long
To make yourself known?
Why, after all these years
After all these sorrows
After all the fears and tears
Where you let me stray so far
Did you send such an angel
Who pulled me from the darkness
And helped me find myself?