Apology

For Patty--September 13, 2005

What great many things must I still learn
In soft and graceful tribute, to you
To this love, all abstractions and complexities
Nuances, even, subtle, yet profound
In tastes of sleeping breath, so warm
In smiles from every angle, like facets of gems
In tears, dreams, fears
In the rhythmic rise and fall of our nocturnal dance
In words I toss like throwing stars, to your face
To your heart
Mocking the forever you shared so freely
And yet reaching out, clawing, gasping
Seeking, in such divine sincerity
What I cannot always recognize, in haze
Beneath the surface, there, mine, for no other
I fall, again and again, while yearning
To forever be your beloved, beyond any veil
I drown in questions, in tortured possibilities
What ifs are what are, at times, it is true
Like roses fragrant with bitter almonds
To prisoners who cling to open cells
Waiting for a heart to stop beating
Even if only in metaphor, for me, for this life
And what happens, then, if hearts betray
Does one fear dawn for what may invade night
Or embrace tomorrows as promises to be kept
You, so entirely divine, one I dared not dream
Watching me fail, so often, trapped as I am
In these webs of uncertainties, of unknowns
Trying to learn a great many things
About abstractions, in complexities
Of nuances in sleeping breath